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All,
The site has become bogged down with all of the goings-on, and as usual, Isaac is happy to step in and lift morale a little! Please peruse the horoscopes below for a psychic message from me to you on how your day might pan out!
Oh, and before any of you Whomail me, I don't have tonight's lottery numbers!!!
May the spirits be with you.
PISCES
February 19 to March 20
The full moon puts you in touch with your deepest emotions and you realise how strong a relationship is.
Love has often tested you but you have cleared every hurdle.
You may soon have to choose between a job with prestige that pays well and one that is tougher and pays less but fascinates you every day.
ARIES
March 21 to April 20
You pretend to be a fashion icon. You are a fat ugly cunt in an expensive dress. You pretend to be a TV businesswoman, dishing out advice. You only got those gigs through sucking CEO chozz sticks. You pretend to be a Vice Chairperson of West Ham United Football club, but you make mistake after mistake and have only ever displayed talent for diverting blame to others, and looking to forward yourself at the expense of the club and it's fans.
Fuck off out of the club you Right Honourable cunt.
TAURUS
April 21 to May 21
For the first time in a year, Venus visits your sign and will stay there for the next 25 days.
As your belief in the power of love gets stronger, so does a relationship, old or new.
This gives you a bonus of smart ideas at work plus the determination to profit from them.
Your loyalty is rewarded in an imaginative way.
GEMINI
May 22 to June 21
The rare blue moon shines its light on all that is different and daring.
You are ready to say “yes” and benefit from all kinds of new experiences.
This builds confidence in your love life and eliminates doubts that can hold back your happiness.
You can tune into others’ secret desires and understand your own.
CANCER
June 22 to July 22
You think about love in a wise, organised way. This may sound cold but you both enjoy being together much more as a result.
Single?
You are smart enough to choose loving someone who is trustworthy.
The moon switches on your word power, so if you ever wanted to write a thriller, now is the time to start.
LEO
July 23 to August 23
Strong and determined, you can set aside your feelings to make decisions based on the financial facts, plus some new and intriguing information that comes later.
The double helping of full moons makes it easier to put loving feelings into healing words.
Single? A short but meaningful chat reveals The One.
VIRGO
August 24 to September 22
Given your age, you will almost certainly be dead within a few years. As such, now is the time to enjoy your dotage, rather than being saddled with a toxic investment. Sell up now, fuck off, and don't look back.
LIBRA
September 23 to October 23
The full moon in your sign eliminates a personal doubt that has been holding you back.
Now the plans that mean most to you click into action.
A partner will do almost anything for you but you must ask.
If you are single, Venus’s arrival in the soulmate sector of your chart points to a talented musician.
SCORPIO
October 24 to November 22
The love and marriage sector of your chart is turbo-charged and as wonderful as this may be, it gives you too many choices. Set aside time to analyse your feelings.
Settled love looks like it has more to give, while singles can talk marriage within hours of meeting.
Family luck is linked to postcodes.
SAGITTARIUS
November 23 to December 21
Someone whose first words to you reflect exactly what you are thinking has the potential to become a great friend who fills your life with luck.
In love, Venus adds commitment to your list of must-haves.
If you are single, your hottest romance prospect moves between the worlds of teaching and comedy.
CAPRICORN
December 22 to January 20
As Venus checks into your love zone, there is something about you that transforms the most matter-of-fact partner into a romantic one.
If you are single, someone known as a heart-breaker is falling in love for real – and you are the reason why.
The luckiest full moon of your year links prizes with politics.
AQUARIUS
January 21 to February 18
You hideous little midget cunt. You have proven to be woefully out of your depth in every facet of owning and running a club. Fuck off now, take your entitled little fuckwit son with you, and never darken the club's door again.
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